Thursday, April 4, 2013


We have different stages to pass through in life--there is childhood to adolescence, adolescence to young adult, and young adult to get the idea.  Each stage comes with increasingly difficult challenges we must get through before successfully moving on to the next phase.  I've always been hyper-sensitive to these transitional moments.  They are full of change and uncertainly and they put my worry-meter on high alert.
As an adult-in-transition, I find myself worrying about things I never had to worry about before--big things. I worry about my health, I worry about my parent's health, I worry about long-term financial stability, about settling in the right place, buying the right house, and starting my own version of a family.  

I joke that I feel like I'm going through a second puberty--only "adult puberty" feels worse.  My body isn't changing, it's decaying.  My emotions aren't melodramatic, they are dramatic.  At this rate, I'll need a lobotomy when I hit menopause.
Through each transition we gather wisdom, we gather strength, and we gain a few new scars.  I have felt myself getting knocked down over and over again as I try to figure out a comfortable landing spot (both mentally and physically) for my adult life.  Some days I can  feel myself gathering strength, while other days I feel like I'm falling backwards.
I need to remember that we don't get to choose when or how the transition stops.  One day, life just gets a little easier, but really, it's us--we've adjusted to the hardships and it feels like life is easier.  I just have to hope that I come out on the other side of all this a wiser and stronger soul.  I'm working on it.