Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bug Eyes, Babies and Badgers

Having big eyes is great when you want to bat your lashes to get out of a red light ticket, but they are not ideal when there is something you're trying to hide.

See, I have this little problem with babies...I think they're ugly. I understand people are proud of their little bundles of joy and drool, and rightfully so...they went through nine months of hell to get them, but as a bystander who isn't blinded by parental bias, all I see is a scaly, little alien-like creature. Of course, I was one of parents lovingly refer to me as "ET" in my first baby picture. The good news is that there is hope for most children who grow into semi-cute toddlers.

My problem arises when I'm walking and pass parents with a baby, and the baby gets mesmerized by my big eyes and makes a funny face at me (funnier than normal), and my eyes bug out (buggier than normal) and my face contorts into a combo expression of surprise, disgust and sheer horror, which wouldn't be so bad if only the baby saw me...but when the parents see my saucer eyes emitting anything less than adoration for their little blob of "cuteness," they huff and puff and angrily carry on.

Well, I bring this up because I feel slightly vindicated for years of angry looks after having our dog, Maya. I know Maya isn't my baby but she feels like it, and walking with her you are guaranteed to get bugged-out eyeballs all along the way. The other day two guys walked by and one practically yelled, "What IS THAT!?" The other said, "I don't KNOW!" and they started laughing hysterically. People pull over on the side of the road when we're walking to get a better look at her. One woman asked if she was part badger.

I used to think I was a horrible person for not being able to control my facial expressions, but I feel better knowing that others can't least not when it comes to a dog that looks like a badger. And as that badger's "mother," I understand how there are just some faces that only a mother could love.

1 comment:

  1. She's so cute. She looks like Tommie in that picture.