Pep Talk

I am terrified about tomorrow and the months of recovery after it. Last week I was supposed to work on accepting things...man, I really suck at that. My constant state of terror has turned me into a crazy person who gives herself fantasy pep talks to try to prevent ulcers.

Here is what I keep telling myself...

You can't plan anything fun until you do this. This part of the pep talk is actually true. Knowing I'll have a swollen foot for six months after surgery makes it hard to plan for anything fun or exciting. Once the surgery is over, I can anticipate a time when the pain is over and look forward to that.

Here's where it gets weird...I am pretending someone is paying me $50,000. That's how much I would voluntarily do it for, though, for future reference, the price for major surgery increases significantly to half a million. No one has really offered me $50K, but if I keep telling myself that's the deal, I momentarily trick myself into thinking it's all for a better cause.

Also, I don't watch sports, but I'm feeling a sympathetic connection to one of the Patriot's players (Gronkowski) who hurt his ankle in last week's playoff game. He and I will be wearing walking boots before the big game...only I don't have to play in the Super Bowl this Sunday and he does. See, life could be worse.

So, here's the pep talk script for tomorrow: "It will be over soon and you can look forward to a better spring/summer.  For $50,000 it's totally worth it!  And remember, at least the Patriots aren't counting on you to help win a Super Bowl."