2011 was another busy year. I took a new job and a new name; traveled to California, North Carolina, Chicago, and Turkey; I worried about my mom's health, planned a wedding, and finally got to see a show with male dancers (I'm not ashamed to admit this was a major life goal).
Sometimes the upcoming year looks blank and I fill it in as I go along, but at the start of 2012 I already foresee challenges and plans unraveling in front of me.
Maybe it's our age, maybe it's marriage, maybe it's mental instability--whatever the reason, Tommie and I feel like we're not quite in the right place to achieve our next life goals. Tommie wants a job that truly makes a difference locally, globally, or anyway. We want to make a comfortable living so we can start thinking about things like homeownership and foster care/adoption.
I will always consider myself lucky to be able to call a place like this home, but because it is home it can also be too comfortable at times; it can be stunting; and it holds a lot of baggage. It is hard to say it, but home's role might be just that--a place that will keep our childhood sacred, a place we know like the back of our hands, and a place that loves us as much as it torments us.
We don't have a definite plan for 2012 yet; first comes fixing my foot and being there for my mom, then we will have to deal with the restlessness brewing inside us. It's hard for us to know what's right, and it's hard for our families to understand, but we've been in a holding pattern here, circling the same issues over and over. I think 2012 will be our year to reevaluate and make some moves.